Mūtken

To all potential Recruits: Mūtken EXTINCTION must happen NOW!

Babe’s Chicken Dinner House owns and operates the premier Texas Giant Chicken Roundup and Assault Vehicle (RAV), located at Garland Babe’s, and we want YOU to join our noble cause.

Why should you care? Because ignorance is NOT bliss:

  • Mūtkens are giant chickens weighing 350 to 450 pounds and reach a height of 6 to 7 feet. They measure 14 to 16 inches from one outside toe to the other. A Mūtken’s incisor fang can reach 6 inches long, is razor sharp and capable of cleaving bone and tearing through sheet metal.
  • Mūtkens are primarily grain eaters and can devastate entire fields of grain in a day. These birds get more dangerous when grain is scarce – they can turn carnivorous and will eat goats, sheep, cats and dogs. The Texas Department of Chicken Control (TDOCC) recommends keeping small children inside if a flock is suspected to be nearby.
  • These animals have no known benefit to mankind and they have no known predator.
  • The meat from these fowl is foul, and the few brave enough to try it have said “This don’t taste nothin’ like chicken.”
  • Mūtkens typically display a very nasty and violent disposition.
  • Although not fully proven, evidence exists that reports of missing persons increase annually along the migration paths of Mūtken flocks.

Therefore, for all these reasons our object is total and complete EXTINCTION!

For more information about the Mūtkens revolution and how you can join the fight, ask your Babe’s server for the Mūtken fact sheet and application. Applications are accepted at all Babe’s locations.

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